This is great - well said. When people here hear I lived in italy for so long, I get a lot of comments that I’m unsure how to respond to. Was it wonderful? Yes, in many ways it was. But it was also really tough, and sometimes frightening (as a young woman living on her own). I remember towards the end of my time there being so annoyed with the bloggers living in what I refer to as ex-patlandia, bragging about how amazing their Italian life was, meanwhile I was watching Romani and Italian pensioners digging through the discarded produce after the farmers markets closed because that was how they had to get their food. Or people beating immigrants in San Lorenzo while cops just watched. One of my last months there me and a friend scooted into a shop in piazza Vittorio to get out of the path of people marching and giving the fascist salute. I laugh anytime someone sends me a post like this”this Italian city will sell Americans trying to escape fascism a house for a euro”. Still, I miss it there everyday. But it’s important to keep in context the realities of life that lots of expats or visiting personalities seem to completely omit or miss entirely.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've never lived abroad, so I don't feel qualified to make comparisons. But every time I read about the "slow lifestyle" in Italy, I wonder what on earth they think our lives are like. I can go on holiday in New York and find it "slow", too, because I am relaxed...of course, a big city and a Medieval town are different, but I still think there's an over-display of this kind of "slow", "simple" life.
There are people who live a slow life here because they do the bare minimum, and there are people who juggle three jobs. "Slow" often means you live in a freakin' 10k-inhabitant Medieval town where it's difficult to find the basic services or structures, especially since lately they're closing hospitals and schools, and half of the country is constantly under some kind of emergency (I lived through two major earthquakes, for instance).
And those cool aperitivi with friends? I'd love to have one, but I can't because all my friends moved to Milan to find a decent job and still barely cover the rent. Nothing dolce about that at all.
Thanks (and sorry for the rant, but I felt the need to share).
Antisocial extrovert, meet social introvert (me). I've been going on about this same thing happening in Spain for years on my personal blog. And now I'm doing it here! I also liked "perma-guest" and may borrow that at some point. Great read.
A brilliant read Sarah. I too am perplexed at these people cosplaying lifestyles that don’t exist. I have plenty of English friends who have bought flats in Europe while working for remote companies and the dubious tax nature is talked about in hushed tones. It’s an ability to have ‘the lifestyle’ without committing to local life. I can’t say it’s the way I would want to live but it’s interesting to see how it pans out!
Here is an example of my experience with influencers in Florence: I first lived in Italy in the 1980s. Ever since then, I've heard the phrase: "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work." I would never repeat this well-worn cutesy cliche to my followers as if I have unlocked a key to Italy. For one, I am aware of the extremely low wages and the tough situation so many young Italians are in, needing to leave the country to find a quality job in their field, etc. But also, because I'm sure most people have heard the phrase forever, and see it like I do, as a well-worn cutesy cliche that is surface level only and does not provide any insight into the reality of working life in Italy. Italy's employment rate is the lowest in the EU and is particularly bad for women. Why not talk about that? (Answer: because it doesn't sell a fantasy.)
These influencers in Florence who've become popular lately, repeat the phrase "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work" and other such cliched phrases to their followers as if they themselves have uncovered a secret elixir that runs through the veins of Italians. They say it as if suggesting to their American followers that they too can have this elixir flow through their veins if they move to Italy. (And in the following post, the influencer sells his/her "Move to Italy Workshop" 😆)
To be clear, I don't have a problem with Move to Italy Workshops if they're focused on the reality. (Americans need them to combat the grossly esagerato Hollywood movies about Italy.) But what I find cringey and annoying are influencers leaning heavily on cliches to sell a fantasy version of Italy, and on top of it, acting like they've themselves have uncovered these fascinating insights when in fact the things they are saying are cliches we've all heard forever.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sarah. I have multiple members of my immediate family who've lived short, temporary stints in Italy. The immersion that came with their time in Italy allowed them to shed some of the blinders that tourists have on when they go for vacation.
Also, my recent ancestors immigrated from southern Italy (Cosenza) to eastern US in 1900 due to economic hardship. Digging into that historical context has helped me shatter the "dolce vita" myth.
💯 I worked internationally for 15 years. What must be remembered is that many of these emigrants (“expats”) are being paid a non-local salary with benefits. Their standard of living is much higher than the standard local standard of living. This distinction explains the “dolce vita” lifestyle. The best of the “lifestyle” without the local wages. Highly unrealistic.
I liked this very much. I have lived in a small town near Arezzo for nearly ten years and much of what you say makes sense to me. Before we moved here from America, I was used to writing for a living so at first I thought I'd write about Italy, but ... I was also used to writing about things that I knew something about, so except in rare cases, I don't really write about Italy. When I got Covid because of some asshole Americans who defied the travel ban and came anyway, and gave it to me--after I tried to help them out by driving the wife to the hospital so she could give her husband his medicines ... the Italian medical system saved my life for free. So that was good. I do love it here but my Italian is terrible because I am so lazy, and my Italian friends put up with me and are very generous that way. Thanks for the true stuff!
I mean, I just honestly feel that I add nothing to the conversation about Italy. I already have to take people around for tours telling them about stuff. I'm tired. I'm rather just write about my dogs or something.
"They feel caricatured and portrayed as naïve, innocent, ingenious, well-meaning natives. It's the benevolent, noble local trope that erases a person or people's individuality" — precisely, Sarah.
We've become the "noble savage" that Rousseau theorised about in the 18th century... Erasing and overwriting locals' experience is always a "coloniser alert" to me.
I’m still pondering whether to move my newsletter to Beehiiv (very likely) or stay here, but what’s most important to me is moving my archives to my website — I’ll have to manually fix broken links and probably pick which posts to keep public and which make private (not for a paying audience, but rather literally private, just for me to keep), because the amount of “long form expat content”, as you called it, has become unbearable here on Substack. I mean not all expats, of course, being an expat, or an immigrant, is never an issue for me, but what and how one chooses to fill a social media feed with totally is. I equally loathe Italians cosplaying as competent local guides all leading people to the same “best kept secret” locations (they’re never *that* secret anyway)…
Haha, yes, but also actual Italians cosplaying as expert guides for tourists. Being born and living in a place doesn't automatically make anybody an expert guide — there's a reason if there's an examination to pass it order to be a registered guide… 🤷🏻♀️
I've always maintained that I could never do that — I might have the necessary knowledge (and that's debatable, too), but I am an introvert who already struggles when dealing with people on a 1-to-1 basis, how could I ever lead a group of tourists? Moreover, my main skill is “buttarla in caciara”, I'd probably do well as a historically-informed comedian, if only I didn't suffer from anxiety and stage fright… 🫠
The irony of “La Dolce Vita” is that the film is actually about Marcello’s growing disillusionment with the “sweet life” and how, even back then, superficiality and the cult of personality was replacing intellectual culture. I think it’s actually a brilliant film and a shame that its title somehow became so grossly distorted and turned into a cliche about Italy. There are a lot of good things about life here, but that’s not actually what the film was about!
I have so many feelings about this, I don’t know where to start. I was born and raised in Puglia. Lived about 20 years there, and 20 years in several different countries, and I’ve been in California for the past 7 years. I think there is still some truth to the dolce vita, I think it’s the relaxed lifestyle you mention. Compared to the life of the average Californian, it’s dolce vita. All my family and friends are still there. They don’t just do nothing all day, but they take the time to grab an aperitivo (ok, maybe not my friends with toddlers, but even they get out more than parents with young children here in Cali), they have each other over for a quick (or not so quick) coffee — here you have to schedule meetings with friends weeks if not months in advance — and my usual food spots do not remember me even after all these years the way they would in Italy. Just some things that went through my mind as I was reading. But I get what you are saying and there’s a lot more than la dolce vita to Italy, and it’s not so sweet. Sorry, I blabbered a bit. Also, I don’t really follow those who don’t do anything other than romanticize Italy, so maybe I don’t realize how outrageous it is… I suppose, just like they do when they depict California abroad, when it comes to food and / or tourism they tend to highlight the positives. Maybe those accounts are targeting the tourists. Sogno California and Dolce Vita are both true and not true at the same time. Hopefully there are more balanced voices out there.
I'm from California and that's not my experience. All the places I frequent there, even for nails, remember me and my family even after years and I find it much easier to see my friends when I am there because here everyone has like three jobs just to get by. But you're totally right about imagined California and the reality. I don't think I'd make it there with my health issues. I love San Diego and I always will and I plan to retire there because I think life would be easier for a person with mobility issues or in a wheelchair than in Italy.
Great piece. Totally agree with the European Dream Machine selling a bunch of nonsense. I’d love to hear more about your choice to move back. I’m on the fence currently.
I noticed you are from California, that’s why I mentioned my experience here. I guess my point was that there are always pros and cons, and that I don’t think Italy is that bad, just like California isn’t a dream. Honestly, a lot of people have a very hard time here too because of the cost of living. And in Italy my experience is that they remember me after a couple of visits, here it takes much longer (they probably remember me, they just don’t take the time to learn my name or make it feel like my visit is special). But I get the point about retirement. I often say it would be nice to retire in Italy, maybe that’s when I go back. But what you mentioned and some other things would worry me. However, the way health insurance is and the need to have a car to do anything would also make it hard for an older person here in California. I lived in Oxford (UK) and it’s a super nice place, multicultural, and there is a lot to do for older people (you don’t have to just sit and watch tv or chat with friends, which might sound nice but it’s not my ideal way to spend my time.. not if those are my only options at least). The weather is not so great there though :) I always say that every place I lived has something great and something that is not good. Oh my, another long reply. Sorry :)
"There is a significant difference between people living in the culture and those who are just living here" — this resonates so much from the little corner of Andalusia I live in. From what I've observed, there's a shocking lack of integration among many foreigners here (there are exceptions, of course, but Brits tend to be the worst) and there's little indication they want it any other way. Sunshine, alcohol y nada más. And don't get me started on everyone who wants to move here because it's, like, soooo cheap!!!
Certainly a well-written and sincere piece, but the anger embedded therein seems harsh. I'm glad I found it and read it, and will seek out more of your writing, hoping to find a counterpoint with a little joy that must be part of your reality too.
This is great - well said. When people here hear I lived in italy for so long, I get a lot of comments that I’m unsure how to respond to. Was it wonderful? Yes, in many ways it was. But it was also really tough, and sometimes frightening (as a young woman living on her own). I remember towards the end of my time there being so annoyed with the bloggers living in what I refer to as ex-patlandia, bragging about how amazing their Italian life was, meanwhile I was watching Romani and Italian pensioners digging through the discarded produce after the farmers markets closed because that was how they had to get their food. Or people beating immigrants in San Lorenzo while cops just watched. One of my last months there me and a friend scooted into a shop in piazza Vittorio to get out of the path of people marching and giving the fascist salute. I laugh anytime someone sends me a post like this”this Italian city will sell Americans trying to escape fascism a house for a euro”. Still, I miss it there everyday. But it’s important to keep in context the realities of life that lots of expats or visiting personalities seem to completely omit or miss entirely.
Rome is a total police state now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've never lived abroad, so I don't feel qualified to make comparisons. But every time I read about the "slow lifestyle" in Italy, I wonder what on earth they think our lives are like. I can go on holiday in New York and find it "slow", too, because I am relaxed...of course, a big city and a Medieval town are different, but I still think there's an over-display of this kind of "slow", "simple" life.
There are people who live a slow life here because they do the bare minimum, and there are people who juggle three jobs. "Slow" often means you live in a freakin' 10k-inhabitant Medieval town where it's difficult to find the basic services or structures, especially since lately they're closing hospitals and schools, and half of the country is constantly under some kind of emergency (I lived through two major earthquakes, for instance).
And those cool aperitivi with friends? I'd love to have one, but I can't because all my friends moved to Milan to find a decent job and still barely cover the rent. Nothing dolce about that at all.
Thanks (and sorry for the rant, but I felt the need to share).
Yes! I went to NYC on a holiday three years ago and really relaxed and enjoyed myself.
Antisocial extrovert, meet social introvert (me). I've been going on about this same thing happening in Spain for years on my personal blog. And now I'm doing it here! I also liked "perma-guest" and may borrow that at some point. Great read.
A brilliant read Sarah. I too am perplexed at these people cosplaying lifestyles that don’t exist. I have plenty of English friends who have bought flats in Europe while working for remote companies and the dubious tax nature is talked about in hushed tones. It’s an ability to have ‘the lifestyle’ without committing to local life. I can’t say it’s the way I would want to live but it’s interesting to see how it pans out!
It is interesting! Thank you for reading!
I hear you Sarah!
Here is an example of my experience with influencers in Florence: I first lived in Italy in the 1980s. Ever since then, I've heard the phrase: "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work." I would never repeat this well-worn cutesy cliche to my followers as if I have unlocked a key to Italy. For one, I am aware of the extremely low wages and the tough situation so many young Italians are in, needing to leave the country to find a quality job in their field, etc. But also, because I'm sure most people have heard the phrase forever, and see it like I do, as a well-worn cutesy cliche that is surface level only and does not provide any insight into the reality of working life in Italy. Italy's employment rate is the lowest in the EU and is particularly bad for women. Why not talk about that? (Answer: because it doesn't sell a fantasy.)
These influencers in Florence who've become popular lately, repeat the phrase "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work" and other such cliched phrases to their followers as if they themselves have uncovered a secret elixir that runs through the veins of Italians. They say it as if suggesting to their American followers that they too can have this elixir flow through their veins if they move to Italy. (And in the following post, the influencer sells his/her "Move to Italy Workshop" 😆)
To be clear, I don't have a problem with Move to Italy Workshops if they're focused on the reality. (Americans need them to combat the grossly esagerato Hollywood movies about Italy.) But what I find cringey and annoying are influencers leaning heavily on cliches to sell a fantasy version of Italy, and on top of it, acting like they've themselves have uncovered these fascinating insights when in fact the things they are saying are cliches we've all heard forever.
This! And I know exactly which influencer you are talking about here.
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sarah. I have multiple members of my immediate family who've lived short, temporary stints in Italy. The immersion that came with their time in Italy allowed them to shed some of the blinders that tourists have on when they go for vacation.
Also, my recent ancestors immigrated from southern Italy (Cosenza) to eastern US in 1900 due to economic hardship. Digging into that historical context has helped me shatter the "dolce vita" myth.
💯 I worked internationally for 15 years. What must be remembered is that many of these emigrants (“expats”) are being paid a non-local salary with benefits. Their standard of living is much higher than the standard local standard of living. This distinction explains the “dolce vita” lifestyle. The best of the “lifestyle” without the local wages. Highly unrealistic.
For those UN folks their childen's private education is funded. It costs more than I make in a year. And they don't pay taxes.
💯
Love this 🙏🏻
👏🏻 very nice Sarah!
I liked this very much. I have lived in a small town near Arezzo for nearly ten years and much of what you say makes sense to me. Before we moved here from America, I was used to writing for a living so at first I thought I'd write about Italy, but ... I was also used to writing about things that I knew something about, so except in rare cases, I don't really write about Italy. When I got Covid because of some asshole Americans who defied the travel ban and came anyway, and gave it to me--after I tried to help them out by driving the wife to the hospital so she could give her husband his medicines ... the Italian medical system saved my life for free. So that was good. I do love it here but my Italian is terrible because I am so lazy, and my Italian friends put up with me and are very generous that way. Thanks for the true stuff!
I mean, I just honestly feel that I add nothing to the conversation about Italy. I already have to take people around for tours telling them about stuff. I'm tired. I'm rather just write about my dogs or something.
"They feel caricatured and portrayed as naïve, innocent, ingenious, well-meaning natives. It's the benevolent, noble local trope that erases a person or people's individuality" — precisely, Sarah.
We've become the "noble savage" that Rousseau theorised about in the 18th century... Erasing and overwriting locals' experience is always a "coloniser alert" to me.
I thought quiting META would protect me from it but it's actually worse on here because now it's longform expat content.
I’m still pondering whether to move my newsletter to Beehiiv (very likely) or stay here, but what’s most important to me is moving my archives to my website — I’ll have to manually fix broken links and probably pick which posts to keep public and which make private (not for a paying audience, but rather literally private, just for me to keep), because the amount of “long form expat content”, as you called it, has become unbearable here on Substack. I mean not all expats, of course, being an expat, or an immigrant, is never an issue for me, but what and how one chooses to fill a social media feed with totally is. I equally loathe Italians cosplaying as competent local guides all leading people to the same “best kept secret” locations (they’re never *that* secret anyway)…
Italian cosplaying is the perfect description.
Haha, yes, but also actual Italians cosplaying as expert guides for tourists. Being born and living in a place doesn't automatically make anybody an expert guide — there's a reason if there's an examination to pass it order to be a registered guide… 🤷🏻♀️
It's a skill! When Ettore took the exam about 3000 took it and about 300 passed. But it's not just knowledge, it's personality.
I've always maintained that I could never do that — I might have the necessary knowledge (and that's debatable, too), but I am an introvert who already struggles when dealing with people on a 1-to-1 basis, how could I ever lead a group of tourists? Moreover, my main skill is “buttarla in caciara”, I'd probably do well as a historically-informed comedian, if only I didn't suffer from anxiety and stage fright… 🫠
The irony of “La Dolce Vita” is that the film is actually about Marcello’s growing disillusionment with the “sweet life” and how, even back then, superficiality and the cult of personality was replacing intellectual culture. I think it’s actually a brilliant film and a shame that its title somehow became so grossly distorted and turned into a cliche about Italy. There are a lot of good things about life here, but that’s not actually what the film was about!
Yesssss nobody gets that!!!
I have so many feelings about this, I don’t know where to start. I was born and raised in Puglia. Lived about 20 years there, and 20 years in several different countries, and I’ve been in California for the past 7 years. I think there is still some truth to the dolce vita, I think it’s the relaxed lifestyle you mention. Compared to the life of the average Californian, it’s dolce vita. All my family and friends are still there. They don’t just do nothing all day, but they take the time to grab an aperitivo (ok, maybe not my friends with toddlers, but even they get out more than parents with young children here in Cali), they have each other over for a quick (or not so quick) coffee — here you have to schedule meetings with friends weeks if not months in advance — and my usual food spots do not remember me even after all these years the way they would in Italy. Just some things that went through my mind as I was reading. But I get what you are saying and there’s a lot more than la dolce vita to Italy, and it’s not so sweet. Sorry, I blabbered a bit. Also, I don’t really follow those who don’t do anything other than romanticize Italy, so maybe I don’t realize how outrageous it is… I suppose, just like they do when they depict California abroad, when it comes to food and / or tourism they tend to highlight the positives. Maybe those accounts are targeting the tourists. Sogno California and Dolce Vita are both true and not true at the same time. Hopefully there are more balanced voices out there.
I'm from California and that's not my experience. All the places I frequent there, even for nails, remember me and my family even after years and I find it much easier to see my friends when I am there because here everyone has like three jobs just to get by. But you're totally right about imagined California and the reality. I don't think I'd make it there with my health issues. I love San Diego and I always will and I plan to retire there because I think life would be easier for a person with mobility issues or in a wheelchair than in Italy.
Great piece. Totally agree with the European Dream Machine selling a bunch of nonsense. I’d love to hear more about your choice to move back. I’m on the fence currently.
I noticed you are from California, that’s why I mentioned my experience here. I guess my point was that there are always pros and cons, and that I don’t think Italy is that bad, just like California isn’t a dream. Honestly, a lot of people have a very hard time here too because of the cost of living. And in Italy my experience is that they remember me after a couple of visits, here it takes much longer (they probably remember me, they just don’t take the time to learn my name or make it feel like my visit is special). But I get the point about retirement. I often say it would be nice to retire in Italy, maybe that’s when I go back. But what you mentioned and some other things would worry me. However, the way health insurance is and the need to have a car to do anything would also make it hard for an older person here in California. I lived in Oxford (UK) and it’s a super nice place, multicultural, and there is a lot to do for older people (you don’t have to just sit and watch tv or chat with friends, which might sound nice but it’s not my ideal way to spend my time.. not if those are my only options at least). The weather is not so great there though :) I always say that every place I lived has something great and something that is not good. Oh my, another long reply. Sorry :)
"There is a significant difference between people living in the culture and those who are just living here" — this resonates so much from the little corner of Andalusia I live in. From what I've observed, there's a shocking lack of integration among many foreigners here (there are exceptions, of course, but Brits tend to be the worst) and there's little indication they want it any other way. Sunshine, alcohol y nada más. And don't get me started on everyone who wants to move here because it's, like, soooo cheap!!!
Certainly a well-written and sincere piece, but the anger embedded therein seems harsh. I'm glad I found it and read it, and will seek out more of your writing, hoping to find a counterpoint with a little joy that must be part of your reality too.
What you say about anglophones in Italy is true of British expats here in Mexico City.
They are, to be succinct, obnoxious.
Their saving grace is that they stay in their luxurious colony here.
I've heard about the colonies/compounds there.