Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've never lived abroad, so I don't feel qualified to make comparisons. But every time I read about the "slow lifestyle" in Italy, I wonder what on earth they think our lives are like. I can go on holiday in New York and find it "slow", too, because I am relaxed...of course, a big city and a Medieval town are different, but I still think there's an over-display of this kind of "slow", "simple" life.
There are people who live a slow life here because they do the bare minimum, and there are people who juggle three jobs. "Slow" often means you live in a freakin' 10k-inhabitant Medieval town where it's difficult to find the basic services or structures, especially since lately they're closing hospitals and schools, and half of the country is constantly under some kind of emergency (I lived through two major earthquakes, for instance).
And those cool aperitivi with friends? I'd love to have one, but I can't because all my friends moved to Milan to find a decent job and still barely cover the rent. Nothing dolce about that at all.
Thanks (and sorry for the rant, but I felt the need to share).
This is great - well said. When people here hear I lived in italy for so long, I get a lot of comments that I’m unsure how to respond to. Was it wonderful? Yes, in many ways it was. But it was also really tough, and sometimes frightening (as a young woman living on her own). I remember towards the end of my time there being so annoyed with the bloggers living in what I refer to as ex-patlandia, bragging about how amazing their Italian life was, meanwhile I was watching Romani and Italian pensioners digging through the discarded produce after the farmers markets closed because that was how they had to get their food. Or people beating immigrants in San Lorenzo while cops just watched. One of my last months there me and a friend scooted into a shop in piazza Vittorio to get out of the path of people marching and giving the fascist salute. I laugh anytime someone sends me a post like this”this Italian city will sell Americans trying to escape fascism a house for a euro”. Still, I miss it there everyday. But it’s important to keep in context the realities of life that lots of expats or visiting personalities seem to completely omit or miss entirely.
I was born and raised in Rome, and I’ve been working in the travel industry – and writing about it – for many years. Back in 2011, I started a blog in English, thinking I could offer a different kind of narrative about Italy. Something more real, more grounded. I wanted to share my life as a local (that's what the name of my blog stands for, Be Local), hoping to dismantle this romantic idea of la dolce vita. I genuinely believed people were ready for a more honest take.
Turns out… not really.
What I eventually learned is that the everyday life of a "real Roman" isn’t what most people want to read. What they want is confirmation of what they already imagine: a postcard version of Italy, all sun-drenched piazzas, fresh pasta, vespas and spritz. That’s the fantasy that sells — and anything that challenges it tends to be ignored.
As you wrote, La dolce vita was a historical moment, not a lifestyle. And Via Veneto, where that myth was born, is now a sad, faded place. It’s the perfect metaphor for this fake, polished version of Italy that keeps being sold over and over. A version that’s easy to digest, but hollow.
Over time, I also shifted my focus. I started writing about urban art, which gave me a much more honest and raw lens through which to read the cities I live in and/or travel through. Thankfully, the algorithm eventually got the memo and stopped feeding me content about la dolce vita. But every now and then, something goes viral — and the gap between what’s shown and real life hits me like a punch in the stomach.
Here is an example of my experience with influencers in Florence: I first lived in Italy in the 1980s. Ever since then, I've heard the phrase: "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work." I would never repeat this well-worn cutesy cliche to my followers as if I have unlocked a key to Italy. For one, I am aware of the extremely low wages and the tough situation so many young Italians are in, needing to leave the country to find a quality job in their field, etc. But also, because I'm sure most people have heard the phrase forever, and see it like I do, as a well-worn cutesy cliche that is surface level only and does not provide any insight into the reality of working life in Italy. Italy's employment rate is the lowest in the EU and is particularly bad for women. Why not talk about that? (Answer: because it doesn't sell a fantasy.)
These influencers in Florence who've become popular lately, repeat the phrase "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work" and other such cliched phrases to their followers as if they themselves have uncovered a secret elixir that runs through the veins of Italians. They say it as if suggesting to their American followers that they too can have this elixir flow through their veins if they move to Italy. (And in the following post, the influencer sells his/her "Move to Italy Workshop" 😆)
To be clear, I don't have a problem with Move to Italy Workshops if they're focused on the reality. (Americans need them to combat the grossly esagerato Hollywood movies about Italy.) But what I find cringey and annoying are influencers leaning heavily on cliches to sell a fantasy version of Italy, and on top of it, acting like they've themselves have uncovered these fascinating insights when in fact the things they are saying are cliches we've all heard forever.
"There is a significant difference between people living in the culture and those who are just living here" — this resonates so much from the little corner of Andalusia I live in. From what I've observed, there's a shocking lack of integration among many foreigners here (there are exceptions, of course, but Brits tend to be the worst) and there's little indication they want it any other way. Sunshine, alcohol y nada más. And don't get me started on everyone who wants to move here because it's, like, soooo cheap!!!
Antisocial extrovert, meet social introvert (me). I've been going on about this same thing happening in Spain for years on my personal blog. And now I'm doing it here! I also liked "perma-guest" and may borrow that at some point. Great read.
A brilliant read Sarah. I too am perplexed at these people cosplaying lifestyles that don’t exist. I have plenty of English friends who have bought flats in Europe while working for remote companies and the dubious tax nature is talked about in hushed tones. It’s an ability to have ‘the lifestyle’ without committing to local life. I can’t say it’s the way I would want to live but it’s interesting to see how it pans out!
You get it. You really do. And I'm very grateful that expats like you exist.
I can guarantee you, that if I wrote a piece like yours, I'll be excoriated on social media, especially on one so dominated by, well, a certain country lol. Actually, I did in a previous issue and was flayed, even by a fellow countryman who didn't understand what I was getting at.
To be honest, I'm puzzled by the reaction. Why are they so defensive when I point this out? I can't help but conclude that because I'm a native of the country they're having this fantasy luxury life in the tropics, I'm shattering their illusion, or the hope that they can have this fantasy life where they don't have to deal with inconvenient facts like they can only live the way they do due to their privilege.
While I like watching videos of foreigners (most are digital nomads from what I can see) exclaiming how affordable our things are, IT IS FOR THEM BUT NOT FOR US.
It's just exasperating, you know?
But that's what a lot of expats do. They live an alternate life where they don't have to deal with the reality that Malaysia isn't a tropical paradise, that their life is enabled by privileges the locals will never have. As I said in a comment to you, we just want to be treated as equals in this transaction, not as objects to be exploited.
I love what you wrote here:
"What bothered me was that he kept posting how much he paid, and in his opinion, it was incredibly cheap. Why do people do this without any real context? I wanted to troll the guy and mention that in the country where he lives, 25% of the population makes less than €1,600 a month. Spending 30-50 euros a couple of times a week on fruit and vegetables can actually be a burden for many people. I also think it's a gross form of bragging about your sweet life abroad for those left at home to marvel over and dream about. Lifestyle social media accounts rarely give socioeconomic context to whatever bullshit they flaunt."
It's a weird experience to see posts romanticizing Italy when you're descended from people who fled Southern Italy because of all the poverty and violence. But yeah, I imagine it's much nicer if you move there with lots of money and/or a high paying remote job.
I've encountered the same attitude regarding moving to Mexico and other poorer countries. I mean, yeah, it's a great lifestyle if you have way more money than the locals.
Brava, all of this!! I always reference that post of yours about not visiting Italy in July, I just reposted on my newsletter last week again too, as I wrote again (every summer) about dealing with the heat here and climate change in Italy. I also wrote various versions of this article about the ridiculous situation in Florence with overtourism, panini and airbnb and the dining scene in general, which is also maybe of interest: https://emikodavies.substack.com/p/is-overtourism-killing-florences
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sarah. I have multiple members of my immediate family who've lived short, temporary stints in Italy. The immersion that came with their time in Italy allowed them to shed some of the blinders that tourists have on when they go for vacation.
Also, my recent ancestors immigrated from southern Italy (Cosenza) to eastern US in 1900 due to economic hardship. Digging into that historical context has helped me shatter the "dolce vita" myth.
If you're in the mood for some ancient California culture, have a listen to the song Oh, Jamaica from the Country Joe album Paradise with an Ocean View. 50 years on and people still delude with expat fantasies.
Oh I have a whole playlist of California dreaming songs that crack me up, but then I do find that I myself have delusional fantasies about San Diego that aren't real.
Thank you for this very honest view of living in Italy. I visited my Italian mother in Italy a lot, and loved it, but a holiday vibe is very different from everyday life. The hurdles that young women faced (in the 1980s) made me decide that I did not want to live in Italy.
The cold winters are not helped by Italian houses, which are designed for hot weather, and are bitterly cold in winter.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've never lived abroad, so I don't feel qualified to make comparisons. But every time I read about the "slow lifestyle" in Italy, I wonder what on earth they think our lives are like. I can go on holiday in New York and find it "slow", too, because I am relaxed...of course, a big city and a Medieval town are different, but I still think there's an over-display of this kind of "slow", "simple" life.
There are people who live a slow life here because they do the bare minimum, and there are people who juggle three jobs. "Slow" often means you live in a freakin' 10k-inhabitant Medieval town where it's difficult to find the basic services or structures, especially since lately they're closing hospitals and schools, and half of the country is constantly under some kind of emergency (I lived through two major earthquakes, for instance).
And those cool aperitivi with friends? I'd love to have one, but I can't because all my friends moved to Milan to find a decent job and still barely cover the rent. Nothing dolce about that at all.
Thanks (and sorry for the rant, but I felt the need to share).
Yes! I went to NYC on a holiday three years ago and really relaxed and enjoyed myself.
This is great - well said. When people here hear I lived in italy for so long, I get a lot of comments that I’m unsure how to respond to. Was it wonderful? Yes, in many ways it was. But it was also really tough, and sometimes frightening (as a young woman living on her own). I remember towards the end of my time there being so annoyed with the bloggers living in what I refer to as ex-patlandia, bragging about how amazing their Italian life was, meanwhile I was watching Romani and Italian pensioners digging through the discarded produce after the farmers markets closed because that was how they had to get their food. Or people beating immigrants in San Lorenzo while cops just watched. One of my last months there me and a friend scooted into a shop in piazza Vittorio to get out of the path of people marching and giving the fascist salute. I laugh anytime someone sends me a post like this”this Italian city will sell Americans trying to escape fascism a house for a euro”. Still, I miss it there everyday. But it’s important to keep in context the realities of life that lots of expats or visiting personalities seem to completely omit or miss entirely.
Rome is a total police state now.
I was born and raised in Rome, and I’ve been working in the travel industry – and writing about it – for many years. Back in 2011, I started a blog in English, thinking I could offer a different kind of narrative about Italy. Something more real, more grounded. I wanted to share my life as a local (that's what the name of my blog stands for, Be Local), hoping to dismantle this romantic idea of la dolce vita. I genuinely believed people were ready for a more honest take.
Turns out… not really.
What I eventually learned is that the everyday life of a "real Roman" isn’t what most people want to read. What they want is confirmation of what they already imagine: a postcard version of Italy, all sun-drenched piazzas, fresh pasta, vespas and spritz. That’s the fantasy that sells — and anything that challenges it tends to be ignored.
As you wrote, La dolce vita was a historical moment, not a lifestyle. And Via Veneto, where that myth was born, is now a sad, faded place. It’s the perfect metaphor for this fake, polished version of Italy that keeps being sold over and over. A version that’s easy to digest, but hollow.
Over time, I also shifted my focus. I started writing about urban art, which gave me a much more honest and raw lens through which to read the cities I live in and/or travel through. Thankfully, the algorithm eventually got the memo and stopped feeding me content about la dolce vita. But every now and then, something goes viral — and the gap between what’s shown and real life hits me like a punch in the stomach.
I hear you Sarah!
Here is an example of my experience with influencers in Florence: I first lived in Italy in the 1980s. Ever since then, I've heard the phrase: "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work." I would never repeat this well-worn cutesy cliche to my followers as if I have unlocked a key to Italy. For one, I am aware of the extremely low wages and the tough situation so many young Italians are in, needing to leave the country to find a quality job in their field, etc. But also, because I'm sure most people have heard the phrase forever, and see it like I do, as a well-worn cutesy cliche that is surface level only and does not provide any insight into the reality of working life in Italy. Italy's employment rate is the lowest in the EU and is particularly bad for women. Why not talk about that? (Answer: because it doesn't sell a fantasy.)
These influencers in Florence who've become popular lately, repeat the phrase "Italians work to live whereas Americans live to work" and other such cliched phrases to their followers as if they themselves have uncovered a secret elixir that runs through the veins of Italians. They say it as if suggesting to their American followers that they too can have this elixir flow through their veins if they move to Italy. (And in the following post, the influencer sells his/her "Move to Italy Workshop" 😆)
To be clear, I don't have a problem with Move to Italy Workshops if they're focused on the reality. (Americans need them to combat the grossly esagerato Hollywood movies about Italy.) But what I find cringey and annoying are influencers leaning heavily on cliches to sell a fantasy version of Italy, and on top of it, acting like they've themselves have uncovered these fascinating insights when in fact the things they are saying are cliches we've all heard forever.
I also moved here before the age of the Influencer and it's just so dystopian sometimes.
By the way, Sarah, regarding femicide in Italy, I discuss it here. You can link to it if you want. https://chandiwyant.substack.com/p/chiming-in-on-the-move-to-italy-discourse
Good word for it!
This! And I know exactly which influencer you are talking about here.
"There is a significant difference between people living in the culture and those who are just living here" — this resonates so much from the little corner of Andalusia I live in. From what I've observed, there's a shocking lack of integration among many foreigners here (there are exceptions, of course, but Brits tend to be the worst) and there's little indication they want it any other way. Sunshine, alcohol y nada más. And don't get me started on everyone who wants to move here because it's, like, soooo cheap!!!
Antisocial extrovert, meet social introvert (me). I've been going on about this same thing happening in Spain for years on my personal blog. And now I'm doing it here! I also liked "perma-guest" and may borrow that at some point. Great read.
A brilliant read Sarah. I too am perplexed at these people cosplaying lifestyles that don’t exist. I have plenty of English friends who have bought flats in Europe while working for remote companies and the dubious tax nature is talked about in hushed tones. It’s an ability to have ‘the lifestyle’ without committing to local life. I can’t say it’s the way I would want to live but it’s interesting to see how it pans out!
It is interesting! Thank you for reading!
Really makes a lot of sense what you're saying. There is also the element of time and eras and oftentimes the past is romanticised.
You get it. You really do. And I'm very grateful that expats like you exist.
I can guarantee you, that if I wrote a piece like yours, I'll be excoriated on social media, especially on one so dominated by, well, a certain country lol. Actually, I did in a previous issue and was flayed, even by a fellow countryman who didn't understand what I was getting at.
To be honest, I'm puzzled by the reaction. Why are they so defensive when I point this out? I can't help but conclude that because I'm a native of the country they're having this fantasy luxury life in the tropics, I'm shattering their illusion, or the hope that they can have this fantasy life where they don't have to deal with inconvenient facts like they can only live the way they do due to their privilege.
While I like watching videos of foreigners (most are digital nomads from what I can see) exclaiming how affordable our things are, IT IS FOR THEM BUT NOT FOR US.
It's just exasperating, you know?
But that's what a lot of expats do. They live an alternate life where they don't have to deal with the reality that Malaysia isn't a tropical paradise, that their life is enabled by privileges the locals will never have. As I said in a comment to you, we just want to be treated as equals in this transaction, not as objects to be exploited.
I love what you wrote here:
"What bothered me was that he kept posting how much he paid, and in his opinion, it was incredibly cheap. Why do people do this without any real context? I wanted to troll the guy and mention that in the country where he lives, 25% of the population makes less than €1,600 a month. Spending 30-50 euros a couple of times a week on fruit and vegetables can actually be a burden for many people. I also think it's a gross form of bragging about your sweet life abroad for those left at home to marvel over and dream about. Lifestyle social media accounts rarely give socioeconomic context to whatever bullshit they flaunt."
A glamorous lifestyle subsidised by local poverty.
It's the same everywhere, it's like a disease.
It's a weird experience to see posts romanticizing Italy when you're descended from people who fled Southern Italy because of all the poverty and violence. But yeah, I imagine it's much nicer if you move there with lots of money and/or a high paying remote job.
I've encountered the same attitude regarding moving to Mexico and other poorer countries. I mean, yeah, it's a great lifestyle if you have way more money than the locals.
Brava, all of this!! I always reference that post of yours about not visiting Italy in July, I just reposted on my newsletter last week again too, as I wrote again (every summer) about dealing with the heat here and climate change in Italy. I also wrote various versions of this article about the ridiculous situation in Florence with overtourism, panini and airbnb and the dining scene in general, which is also maybe of interest: https://emikodavies.substack.com/p/is-overtourism-killing-florences
This is great! I'm going to add it to the list. Thank you so much!!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Sarah. I have multiple members of my immediate family who've lived short, temporary stints in Italy. The immersion that came with their time in Italy allowed them to shed some of the blinders that tourists have on when they go for vacation.
Also, my recent ancestors immigrated from southern Italy (Cosenza) to eastern US in 1900 due to economic hardship. Digging into that historical context has helped me shatter the "dolce vita" myth.
If you're in the mood for some ancient California culture, have a listen to the song Oh, Jamaica from the Country Joe album Paradise with an Ocean View. 50 years on and people still delude with expat fantasies.
Oh I have a whole playlist of California dreaming songs that crack me up, but then I do find that I myself have delusional fantasies about San Diego that aren't real.
Thank you for your honesty Sarah. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, finally.. some truth !
Thank you for this very honest view of living in Italy. I visited my Italian mother in Italy a lot, and loved it, but a holiday vibe is very different from everyday life. The hurdles that young women faced (in the 1980s) made me decide that I did not want to live in Italy.
The cold winters are not helped by Italian houses, which are designed for hot weather, and are bitterly cold in winter.
Benny Boo Boo is a great name!